Heartland Hospice serving Raleigh-Durham continues to help fulfill their patients' last wishes. Kristin Lassiter, spiritual care coordinator, and Annie Rankin, care transitions nurse, had the honor of helping a lovely couple celebrate their special love for each other.

Wendy, hospice patient, has been battling different types of cancer since she was in her 20s and has now been diagnosed with lung cancer. During her first visit with Kristin, Wendy mentioned that it was a dream of hers to get married but was not attached to a church to have the ceremony. She shared that three years ago she reconnected with her love, Terry, and both are originally from Pennsylvania.

After their visit, Kristin jumped into action and began planning a memorable celebration of love for Wendy and Terry. She called Annie and asked if she could lend her photography skills to capture those special moments and Annie was honored to help. Kristin and the team decorated Wendy’s backyard with accents of her favorite color, purple.

The day of the celebration was finally here, Wendy and Terry were surrounded by 20 of their close family and friends, some of them even traveled to be with them for this special day. Although this was not a legal marriage, it was a day full of love for the couple who wanted to celebrate their love with everyone close to them. Kristin and Annie both felt blessed to be a part of Wendy and Terry’s special day.

“This is so much more than hospice… it is about serving each individual on a deeper level. We get one chance to provide a comfortable and compassionate end-of-life experience for our patients and their families. There are no ‘do-overs’,” said Kristin.

Michelle, bereavement coordinator and Matt, account liaison, with Heartland Hospice serving Raleigh-Durham, had the privilege of participating in a pinning ceremony for veteran patient, Jonathan Gorman. Jon is 55 years old and served in the military for 32 years. 

Jon began his career in the United States Air Force as an enlisted man. He served as a tactical air command and control specialist in Peoria Air National Guard. He was commissioned as a Lieutenant and was an Air Liaison Officer. However, what Jon really wanted to do was fly. So, he reverted to the rank of Warrant Officer to become an Army Helicopter Pilot. He learned how to fly many of the Army’s helicopters including the Chinook, Black Hawk, OH-58 and Apache. Jon’s final assignment was in the Army National Guard at the Raleigh-Durham Airport, flying counter-drug missions. He was a safety officer and had a total of 3,000 flight hours with 400 of those hours being in Combat. Jon served in Iraq and retired from service as a Chief Warrant Officer 4. 

Mila, care transitions coordinator, shared, “Michelle learned of his military service and followed through with making sure he got the recognition he deserved! His disease progression meant that if we didn’t complete this ceremony quickly, he may not be capable of participating in it, so Michelle pulled it all together to make it happen!”

Michelle commented, “The ceremony took place at Sarah Care, the adult day care where Jon attends. His wife, Emily, suggested doing the ceremony there because that is where his buddies are, and many of them are veterans as well. When I arrived at the facility, Emily shared that Jon was so excited and had been talking about it for days, even wanting to dress up and wear his jeans instead of his usual sweatpants (even though that didn’t quite work out).  After sharing about Jon’s service, Matt, account liaison who is also currently in the National Guard, presented Jon with a certificate and a pin, thanking him for his service.  Following the ceremony, all the attendees and staff enjoyed patriotic cupcakes as a treat!”

What an honor it is to serve those who have served our country!

Caring for a loved one is one of the most significant challenges life can present. We're here for the families and friends of our patients, too. Whether it’s to have a safe space to share feelings or to remember the memory of loved ones. Heartland Hospice serving Raleigh-Durham was faced with challenges this year when it came to planning their annual memorial service. However, instead of the typical in-person service that is held each year, the team was able to plan several events that ensured the participants would stay safe. Kristin Lassiter, bereavement coordinator, tells about the drive-thru events:

“2020 has taken the wind from our sails in many ways, but it cannot take our memories! Instead of our typical memorial service, this year found us in various parking lots offering family and friends a chance to remember. We celebrated lives of those whom we greatly miss. We held four drive-thru memorial services at different locations to make it as convenient as possible for family members. We had about 150 people attend who represented about 75 loved ones during the four events.

We asked them to bring a ribbon to represent their loved one. Some were written on with marker and some were even embroidered. The family members hung their ribbons on the memorial display and before they left, we gave them a small glass sailboat candle holder and a poem to help them remember their loved one.

We are so thankful to those who joined us and took time to honor the memory of the person they love. We felt honored hearing the thoughts and stories shared about each loved one and we recognize the privilege of being included in the grief journey of our patients’ families.

We hope that those who attended were blessed with memories of their loved ones. It was great to see the smiles brought to their faces while sharing stories, even if there were also a few tears.”

Kinsley Lewis-Cobb, Spiritual Care Coordinator for Heartland Hospice serving Raleigh-Durham, shares her thoughts on what it means to be a Spiritual Care Coordinator and tells a wonderful story about how spiritual care provided comfort for a recent patient’s family.

“It is wonderful when you find an opportunity to do something you love; for me, that is chaplaincy. To be a stranger invited to meet a family at the end stages of a loved one’s life, which is such a vulnerable space and time, is humbling to me.

I was invited by the family of Eloise Stewart to be her Chaplain. When I first met Ms. Stewart and her family, she was imminent. Ms. Stewart was bedbound, not very responsive and she slept during my visits. I read scriptures to her and prayed with her. During this time, I got to know her daughter, Donna, very well. She was her mother’s primary caregiver and I spent most of my visits listening and engaging in conversation with her. Sadly, Ms. Stewart passed away after a month of receiving hospice care. When Donna asked if I could speak at her mother’s funeral, I was delighted. She shared several stories that were touching and showed she had wonderful memories of her mother.

 When I speak about the life of an individual at their funeral service, I try to find something that is simple, yet meaningful, to share. Donna shared a story of her mother growing up during the Great Depression. She always said, ‘It starts with a penny.’ Every time she found a penny, she picked it up and made a funny comment about it. Ms. Stewart’s daughters, Debbie, Donna and Denise, fondly recalled these moments with their mom. Because of this, I gave each of her daughters a penny in remembrance of their mother.

While speaking at her funeral, my final words about their mother, were, ‘Mrs. Eloise V. Stewart lived an extraordinary life. She came from humble beginnings in Erwin, North Carolina. She grew up during the time of the Great Depression; a time when our country was at its lowest. I believe because of those humble times she found value in the simple things in life; like a lost penny. Some may even think a single penny left alone is insignificant and has very little value, but a single penny collected with other pennies has great impact if nurtured, respected and loved.’

A week later, I received a wonderful message from Donna:

‘Hi, Kinsley. Thank you so much for performing Mom’s funeral service. Just on the little I told you, you certainly captured her character. The pennies you gave us mean so much because we know what a penny meant to our mother. In fact, we appreciate it so much, we are having necklaces made with them. Thank you for giving us something in memory of Mom. Some might think it is odd to cherish a penny, but Mom worked so hard her entire life and always said it started with a penny! It was wonderful spending time with you and we wish you well, always. Thank you!’”